Step 9-GIFTS!!!

When it comes to the whole gift thing. You will see below that there are a lot of ways to stay green-both by giving to charity, and by asking for environmentally conscious gifts. I feel that the most important thing here, however, is to not get carried away when you are registering. Really sit down with your fiance, and talk about what you want, and what you NEED. What you would buy for yourself if money wasn't an issue. Don't register for crap that you will never use just because someone else is footing the bill. Be realistic. If you don't use it, then it is wasteful...I don't care what it is! (For the record, they don't mention it here, but there is a new trend of asking people for money. I want to address it as an etiquette side note: I really want a house right now, and was seriously thinking of sending one of those poems asking for cash. I did some asking around of my guests-both relatives and friends, and found that not one person thought that it was a good idea. No one. The general thought is-this is a wedding, not a fundraiser. So Jimmy and have a created a small registry of things that we love, and are letting people know that we are saving for a house, so gifts of money are great as well. I am hoping that this is well received, and so far it seems to be going well...end of side note.) So here are some ideas from the sierra club:

~asking for gifts to charity instead of material goods

This is a good idea for those of you out there who have what you need. Perhaps this is your second marriage, or you are both very financially secure, and you don't feel the need to ask for gifts. (LUCKY YOU!) Find a charity that really speaks to who you are as a couple. There are so many wonderful charities out there; local, national, and international. Research your charity, and make sure that they really do what they say they do! Ultimately this is a wonderful idea, if you can afford to do it! (And I imagine that you rack up some pretty good karma points!)

~registering with the I Do Foundation or another site that gives a percentage of gift purchases to your chosen cause.

This is so cool! I have gone to the site, and looks like you need to register your wedding with them, like you would with any wedding site, and then you can set up for 6% of all of your registry purchases to go to charity...could it be that simple? Check it out yourself at: www.idofoundation.org I will too. Let's compare notes. Has anyone done it? I love to hear if it was a good experience! Do tell!

~registering with stores that offer local, fair-trade, handmade, organic, or other eco-friendly products like Branch, Gaiam, Greenfeet, GreenSage, Ten Thousand Villages, UncommonGoods, or VivaTerra.

Love it! Check! This is a great time to get that kitchen composter that you have been dying for!

~registering for outdoor gear or contributions to an eco-friendly honeymoon

Have so much fun with this one...I believe that we have discussed my feelings on camping in step 4. Enough said. (AKA-do not buy me a gift card to REI. It would be wasteful of you. ;-)

~creating a custom wish list of eco-friendly items like a fresh-produce subscription from a local farm, organic gardening supplies, organic linens, park and museum passes, gift certificates to organic restaurants, and subscriptions to green publications or memberships in green causes

This one requires a little more work and imagination on your part, but aren't we all here because we are creative and uniquely minded folks? There are sites all around (such as my registry.com) where you can create a list of items that you would like (as long as you can buy it online, then you can put it on your registry!) If there are items that can't be done that way, then create a special registry for your guests to receive via email, or on your wedding site. For those folks who like to buy gifts the old fashioned way, you can have your Maid of Honor send them a hard copy...just make sure that she does it on recycled paper! ;-)

~For your favors, give something your guests will really use and enjoy, not disposable plastic souvenirs.

Ok, so my mantra about this is as follows: Do your guests a favor, and skip the typical "favor." Because no one likes Jordan Almonds, or a small thing of bubbles, or a key ring with your name on it, and if they told you that they did...they were being nice. Jimmy and I are donating a tree to a local park. (This goes along with our unspoken theme of "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. Now it will be quite literal.) I am soooooo excited about this idea, I can't tell you. Really you could donate to any charity on behalf of your guests, and make a little announcement, or put a note about it at the top of your menu/or program. Put an announcement on home made paper in a frame at the reception table letting everyone know that you have made a donation in their name. It can be for whatever amount you put aside for your favors. Every little bit counts! And let me tell you...your guests will truely thank you for a gift that they don't have to shove in their purse to be polite, and then leave in the hotel. (with love...this is what they will be doing.)

For arguments sake, let's just say that you really feel that you MUST give them SOMETHING that they can hold...here are a few ideas (Courtesy of the Sierra Club, that I think people will actually like. ;-)

~Gourmet organic chocolates or another organic or local food item. LOCAL FOOD! This is great for welcome bags for out of town guests as well!

~attractive bags of fresh or dried organic herbs

~seeds in a commemorative container

~reusable cloth tote bags

can you ever have enough of these? I am using them to hold my attendants gifts as well! LOVE IT!

~a small plant

These can also go on the dinner tables as lovely decor. Talk about two birds with one stone!

~natural soaps

PS. These are easy to make...and home made gifts are so much more special. (And cheaper. ;-)

~place cards made of seeded paper that can be planted at home

~soy or beeswax candles

ehem...you know my thoughts...soy.

~a compact fluorescent light bulb

ok, so you will look like a bit of a nerd here, but it will bring awareness, it will be a GREAT conversation starter, and it IS dead useful.

~a downloadable playlist of your favorite songs

I got one of these recently, and liked it quite a bit. Cute idea, and very personal. You can even have them done up nicely at a site such as www.ourweddingcd.com Not too hard to remember. lol. I don't think that they use eco-friendly products though, so maybe doing it yourself is a better option. Depending on how crafty you are!

For your helpful, loyal attendants, you'll want to up the ante a little, perhaps with:

~gift baskets of organic skin-care products

~recycled jewelry, wallets, handbags, or drinking glasses

~selections of organic coffees, teas, and chocolates

~recycled paper journals and stationery

~great bottles of organic wine

As always, I recommend to keep it local! Support your local markets and artisans. It is a great way to create a hallmark for the event, and it makes your gifts one of a kind!

Step 8. Picture Perfect...

So back to our list of ways to "green up your celebration," ways to "get your green on," ways to "make everyone pay attention only to you because you are the queen of the universe..." Ok, not so much the last one, although I am fine with that, if it does happen...

So, our friends at the Sierra Club have this to say about your wedding pictures:

Whether you prefer film or digital photographs, look for a photographer who will do digital proofs to save paper and chemicals. Avoid single-use cameras, but ask friends with digi-cams to share their photos with all the guests online in a free Flickr group or Snapfish group room you set up for your wedding.

Ok...I am sooooooo fine with this. We are going digital because it is cheaper, and we were more interested in finding the right photographer for us, than in getting a bunch of prints that we don't even like. (note: Many photographers have online galleries where you and your guests can purchase prints. And, if they do, and you can afford it, order through them. Snapfish is a cool idea, but it feels a bit sneaky to me to go this route if your photographer offers to print for you. Or at the very least, ask them if they are ok with it.) And yes Yes YES! to having friends bring the digitals! Nothing better than checking out your awesome wedding on someone else's facebook profile two days after the event! (I will of course be toting my "mino flip" to get snippets of the day from my P.O.V. (and sharing with you...my avid readers.) Super fun!


PS. Speaking of finding the right photographer for us...did we EVER!!! Her name is Kelly Guenther, and she has won...wait for it, wait for it...a PULITZER! (So, she is pretty much a genius.) The main reason that we went with her, in addition to her laid back style (And her amazing carriage house apartment in Brooklyn Heights), is that she takes the most amazing photo journalistic photos!!!!



I was deathly afraid of the "gazing" photos. (Pictured here) Listen, If this "just happened," then that is totally cool, but if they stood there for 10 minutes taking pictures while trying to emote "love" for each other....my stomach hurts just thinking about it. Much to my surprise and delight, we found Kelly right off the bat. (I think that we booked her before the hall! lol) She had worked with a few brides that I knew, and I loved their photos. (She is also reasonably priced for the NYC area.) So we are phyched all around...




Ok, so the message here? Don't print anything unless you know that you want it! That shouldn't be too difficult, right? Check.

We interrupt this checklist to bring you news of a dress...

That's right! I want to report to you all-the millions of you waiting with baited breath-that I filmed the TV show-Say Yes To The Dress! (To be aired sometime next year)II have tried on some wedding dresses, and I have an update...

1. Kleinfelds is insane...who knew that dresses were so important? Apparently they are...and somehow when you are there, you believe in the power of the dress. (They use feminine pronouns when referring to them, as in, "Let's see how you look in "her.") I was treated like a princess, and my friends were treated like queens...because they are gay men. (cracking myself up here.) We had a Kleinfelds first, and they let Josh try on one of the dresses! He looked lovely, if a bit furry on top to be wearing so much detail in the bodice... sadly, they don't allow photos at Kleinfelds, or we would have quite a few here...he looked something like this:



...and as a side note, I am pretty sure that one of the salesmen at Kleinfelds had a crush on my friends...not one of them in particular so far as we could tell, but on all of them as a unit. Thank you salesman, said crush made everyone feel special. :-)

2. Filming a TV show is a funny thing. Especially a reality show! First there is a camera person in the dressing room with you...yeah..."Hi, so, um, I didn't wax yet this month, so...Oh, sure, you can put the microphone there." Then, once you are in the dress, they make you stand still for long moments while they film each dress, while your friends are going, "You look like you are in pain! Stop it!" Then you say something, and then they say, "Can you say that again?" and when you do, you sound like Tonto..."ME...LIKE...DRESS" In the interview, you know that they are looking for specific things, so you start wondering if you said the right thing, and stop thinking about what you are saying...and are like, "Wait...what? What did I say?" The other funny part is at the end when they ask you to comment on your experience in the present tense...but it isn't. (As though you are commentating on a baseball game, but it has already happened) IE. Them: "What was it like when you tried on the dress that Matt said looked like a table cloth?" Me: "I am in the dress, and I am thinking, "It isn't that bad, is it?" But I know that he is telling me the truth!" But it is an odd thing to do, so again with the old Tonto voice: ME...IN..UGLY DRESS...THINK...MATT...TRUTH!" Somebody save me!!

3. All in all, I had a lot of fun, and it got me really excited about the wedding. :-) So on to the dress commentary:


4. I am sad to report that The Cotton Bride Line by Chris Cole for Kleinfelds wasn't my favorite. I love the idea of it, but none of the "Green" dresses suited my style. (They were all a bit plain and hippy dippy) I think that my friend Matt called it when he said that the best one looked like "My Grandmothers Table Cloth." (I wonder if that line will make it on the show? We were a bit insane, and brutal. We caused a ruckus in general, and I really couldn't tell if they were amused, or annoyed....I guess we will find out when the show airs! lol)

5. All of this said, I did find one in particular that was especially lovely (and silk which is sustainable).....and cost 3000 dollars...GULP!

Sooooooo....what is a girl to do? Oh, I don't know.....google the name of the dress, and find a woman selling it on Craigslist two towns over from her parents for 1000 bucks? Yeah, that's what she said! WHOOOO HOOOO!!! What do you guys think?




It is simple, but not "boring", and I think that it is super flattering. So if I end up getting the dress from this woman, I will being keeping it green, and buying used!!! I am super pumped about being able to pick this green option-for the planet and my pocket! (Which has become my new mantra...WHAT WOULD THE GURU SAY????)

As for the possibility of a second dress...I am not sure at the moment where I stand, but will keep you updated!

Step 7-Eat Drink and Be Merry!

Showcase green gustatory pleasures (and spoil your guests) by basing your menu around local, organic, and seasonal foods. Don’t forget the organic wine, beer, and spirits, and the free-trade, shade-grown coffee and tea! Some tips:

~Ask the venue's preferred caterers and bakers if they can do your event organically.

Again, this is really about finding the right vendors for you. In Brooklyn, finding someone who ISN'T a part of the local/organic movement would be difficult, so I am lucky in that regard. My smaller parties in Binghampton and Boston respectively, might be a different story. "I will have to look into it, and get back to you." ~as said by Sarah Palin to Katie Couric.


~Find a local organic restaurant that does off-site catering.

Also-check out Tree Hugger's tips on how to have eco friendly cocktails and beverages! (This is from today! We are so on the the same page! Tree Hugger and I that is...)

~If your wedding won't be complete without a specific type of food, get married when it's in season.

As with flowers, keeping the food in season is good for the environment AND your pocketbook! (Check, and Check!)

~Find a caterer you trust to pick the best seasonal selections (since you may not be able to taste those exact items ahead of time).

Find a caterer you trust...thank you Captain Obvious.

~Consider vegitarian selections and seek out cruelty-free meats and wild, rather than farmed, fish.
A vegetarian option is a good idea anyway. It is less expensive, and more and more people are vegetarians these days. (Sometimes I opt for the veggie meal if I am unsure of the meat options. Let's face it-we are all more sketched out by an off-looking chicken wing, then we are by a wonky piece of asparagus. It is just the truth.)

~Making sure that the venue offers comprehensive recycling facilities, and ideally composting too.

This seems like a no brainer, but you never know...not everyone is on our page with this. See below for ideas on what to do if your venue doesn't recycle or compost.

~Have your cake decorated with organically grown flowers or other natural materials instead of plastic toppers.

Yeah-plastic topper? I am assuming that if you are interested in my blog, then you are not using a plastic cake topper with a bride and groom in cowboy hats, where the groom is pretending to run off the cake, and the bride is pulling him back on with a lasso. (By the way, I am pretty sure that I have actually seen that topper, somewhere...I will find it for you.) But in the event that you were thinking of doing this...stop it. Immediately.

~Rent real glassware, dishware, and linens instead of using disposables.

Renting is VERY common at weddings. (USING DISPOSABLES? What kind of wedding are we having here?) Renting is a great way to go. I used to work for a company called Broadway Party Rentals. If you are in NYC, check them out!

~Go for a chic eclectic look by mixing and matching thrift-store plates and dishes (and by donating them back when you are done).

This is a cool idea. I enjoy an eclectic array of old china on the table for fancy parties. (I use my Nana's old set-and her silver. I think that it is fun. :-) It would have to be a very particular style of wedding for this to work, but if it is your style, then go for it. I love this!

~Use biodegradable utensils and dishes made out of cornstarch, potatoes, wheat, or sugar cane--if your venue can compost them.

Hmmm...ok, if you are going for the disposables, then this is the way to do it, but I am still very anti disposables. (This is your wedding! Use a real fork, for the love of Pete!) If you are interested in finding this in general, check out Branch Home. They have lots of interesting eco-friendly products. (Including, the biodegradable fork. ;-)

~Make arrangements to donate leftover food to a local food bank or homeless shelter.

100%. I have mentioned this earlier, but in case you missed it: Recycling, composting, and donating anything that is unused at your event is super key if you want an eco friendly celebration. You can always investigate ways to do this on your own. (For starters, insist that your venue have separate containers for trash, and recyclables at you event.) And find a local shelter to donate food by going to my favorite website the http://www.idofoundation.org/about/August2003.html. They have bunch of places to try to set this stuff up on your "one-sies". If you don't want to do all the legwork, and really want to make sure that everything is re purposed to the fullest of it's potential, try The Special E. I haven't set anything up with them, but I am definitely investigating, and will let you know!